LOL

A Famous Composer-Mozart Beyond the Grave...

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."

Q:What do you call ghosts who scare talkshow hosts?

A:The Phantom of the Oprah.

Cartoon of the Day

"Environmentalism..."

"How should a Christian view environmentalism?"

There is a difference between the biblical view of the environment and the political movement known as "environmentalism." Understanding this difference will shape a Christian’s view of environmentalism. The Bible is clear that the earth and everything in it was given by God to man to rule over and subdue. "And God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth'" (Genesis 1:28). Because they were created in His image, God gave men and women a privileged place among all creatures and commanded them to exercise stewardship over the earth (Genesis 1:26-28; Psalm 8:6-8). Stewardship implies caretaking, not abusing. We are to intelligently manage the resources God has given us, using all diligent care to preserve and protect them. This is seen in the Old Testament where God commanded that the fields and vineyards would be sown and harvested for six years, then left fallow for the seventh year in order to replenish the soil's nutrients, both to rest the land and to ensure continued provision for His people in the future (Exodus 23:10-11; Leviticus 25:1-7).In addition to our role of caretakers, we are to appreciate the functionality and beauty of the environment. In His incredible grace and power, God has placed on this planet everything needed to feed, clothe, and house the billions of people who have lived on it since the Garden of Eden. All the resources He has provided for our needs are renewable, and He continues to provide the sun and rain necessary to sustain and replenish those resources. And if this were not enough, He has also decorated the planet in glorious color and scenic beauty to appeal to our aesthetic sense and thrill our souls with wonder. There are countless varieties of flowers, exotic birds, and other lovely manifestations of His grace to us.At the same time, the earth we inhabit is not a permanent planet, nor was it ever intended to be. The environmental movement is consumed with trying to preserve the planet forever, and we know this is not God's plan. He tells us in 2 Peter 3:10 that at the end of the age, the earth and all He has created will be destroyed: "But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, and the elements will be dissolved with fire, and the earth and the works that are upon it will be burned up" (NKJV). The physical, natural earth in its present form, with its entire universe will be consumed and God will create a "new heaven and a new earth" (2 Peter 3:13; Revelation 21:1).So we see that rather than trying to preserve the earth for thousands or even millions of years to come, we are to be good stewards of it for as long as it lasts, which will be as long as it serves God's sovereign plan and purpose.

*Recommended Resource: Balancing the Christian Life by Charles Ryrie.

"Planet in Peril"

Ice melting across globe at accelerating rate, NASA says
(CNN) -- Between 1.5 trillion and 2 trillion tons of ice in Greenland, Antarctica and Alaska have melted at an accelerating rate since 2003, according to NASA scientists, in the latest signs of what they say is global warming.



This image shows the changing rate of mass
in mountain glaciers on the Gulf of Alaska.

Using new satellite technology that measures changes in mass in mountain glaciers and ice sheets, NASA geophysicist Scott Luthcke concluded that the losses amounted to enough water to fill the Chesapeake Bay 21 times.
"The ice tells us in a very real way how the climate is changing," said Luthcke, who will present his findings this week at the American Geophysical Union conference in San Francisco, California.
NASA's Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment, or GRACE, mission uses two orbiting satellites to measure the "mass balance" of a glacier, or the net annual difference between ice accumulation and ice loss.
"A few degrees of change [in temperature] can increase the amount of mass loss, and that contributes to sea level rise and changes in ocean current," Luthcke said.
The data reflects findings from NASA colleague Jay Zwally, who uses different satellite technology to observe changing ice volume in Greenland, the Arctic and Antarctica.
In the past five years, Greenland has lost between 150 gigatons and 160 gigatons each year, (one gigaton equals one billion tons) or enough to raise global sea levels about .5 mm per year, said Zwally, who will also present his findings at the conference this week.
Don't Miss
In Depth: Planet in Peril
GRACE measured that mountain glaciers in the Gulf of Alaska lost about 84 gigatons each year, about five times the average annual flow of the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon, according to NASA.
"Every few extra inches of sea level have very significant economic impacts, because they change the sea level, increase flooding and storm damage," said, Zwally, ICESat Project Scientist. "It's a warning sign."
Melting ice, especially in Greenland and the Arctic, is also thought to contribute to global warming, Zwally said. When the vast ice sheets and glaciers melt, they lose their reflective power, and instead, oceans and land absorb the heat, causing the Arctic waters and the atmosphere to warm faster.
"We're seeing the impacts of global warming in many areas of our own lives, like agriculture," Zwally said.
As an example, he cited the pine beetle infestation of this summer in the forests of Colorado and western Canada.
"They were believed to be spreading because the winter was not cold enough to kill them, and that's destroying forests," he said.
In the 1990s, Greenland took in as much snow and water as it let out, Zwally said. But now, about 15 years later, sea levels are rising about 50 percent faster, making the global climate situation even more unpredictable.
"The best estimates are that sea levels will rise about 18 to 36 inches by the end of the century, but because of what's going on and how fast things are changing, there's a lot of uncertainty," he said.

*By Emanuella Grinberg CNN - http://edition.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/12/16/melting.ice/index.html

LOL

Divine right...

Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you toenter this holy place without your wearing a blouse." "But Father, I have a divine right," she informs. "Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter *this* church!" he insists.

Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

Cartoon of the Day

ATTENTION ALL YOUTHS!

Click to ENLARGE

Longevity

"Why did the people in Genesis live such long lives?

Why people in early chapters of Genesis lived long lives is somewhat of a mystery. There are many theories by biblical scholars and scientists. The genealogy in Genesis 5 records the line of godly descendants of Adam—the line that would eventually produce the Messiah. God possibly blessed this line with especially long life as a result of its godliness and obedience. While this is a possible explanation, the Bible nowhere specifically limits the long lifespans to the individuals mention in Genesis chapter 5. Further, other than Enoch, Genesis 5 does not identify any of the individuals as being especially godly. It is likely that everyone at that time period lived several hundred years. Several factors probably contributed to this.Genesis 1:6-7 mentions the water above the expanse, a canopy of water that surrounded the earth. Such a water canopy would have created a greenhouse effect on the entire earth, and would have blocked much of the radiation that now hits the earth. This would have resulted in ideal living conditions on the earth. This seems especially so considering how quickly the lifespans began to diminish after the flood. Genesis 7:11 likely indicates that, in the flood, the water canopy was poured out on the earth, ending the ideal living conditions. Compare the ages before the flood (Genesis 5:1-32) with the ages after the flood (Genesis 11:10-32). Immediately after the flood, the ages decreased dramatically.Another factor is that in the first few generations after creation, the human genetic code had not developed many defects. Adam and Eve were created perfect. They were surely highly resistant to diseases and illnesses. Their descendants would have inherited these advantages, albeit to lesser degrees. Over time, though, as a result of sin, the human genetic code became increasingly corrupted, and human beings became more and more susceptible to death and disease. This would also have resulted in a drastically reduced lifespan.

*Recommended Resource: Bible Answers for Almost all Your Questions by Elmer Towns.

LOL

Mark 17...

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Q. Who was the greatest female financer in the Bible?

A. Pharaoh's daughter - she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a "little prophet."

Cartoon of the Day

Where? When? How?

"What is the origin of the different races?"

The Bible does not explicitly give us the origin of the different "races" or skin colors of humanity. In actuality, there is only one race—the human race. Within the human race is a diversity in skin color and other physical characteristics. Some speculate that when God confused the languages at the tower of Babel (Genesis 11:1-9), He also instituted racial diversity. It is possible that God made genetic changes to humanity to better enable people to survive in different ecologies, such as Africans being better equipped genetically to survive the excessive heat in Africa. According to this view, God confused the languages, causing humanity to segregate linguistically, and then created genetic racial differences based on where each racial group would eventually settle, geographically. While possible, there is no explicit biblical basis for this view. The races / skin color of humanity are nowhere mentioned in connection with the tower of Babel.After the flood, when the different languages came into existence, groups that spoke one language moved away with others of the same language. In doing so, the gene pool for a specific group shrunk dramatically as they no longer had the entire human population to mix with. Closer inbreeding took place, and in time certain features were emphasized in these different groups (all of which were present as a possibility in the gene code). As further inbreeding occurred through the generations, the gene pool got smaller and smaller, to the point that people of one language family all had the same or similar features, and it would be a rarity when a different feature arose.Another explanation is that Adam and Eve possessed the genes to produce black, brown, and white offspring (and everything else in between). This would be similar to how a mixed-race couple often has children that vary greatly in color from one another. Since God obviously desired humanity to be diverse in appearance, it makes sense that God would have given Adam and Eve the ability to produce children of different skin tones. Later, the only survivors of the flood were Noah and his wife, Noah’s three sons and their wives—eight people in all (Genesis 7:13). Perhaps Shem’s, Ham’s, or Japheth’s wives were of different races. It is possible that Noah’s wife was of a different race than Noah. Maybe all eight of them were of mixed race, which would mean that they possessed the genetics to produce children of different races. Whatever the explanation, the most important aspect of this question is that we are all the same race, all created by the same God, all created for the same purpose—to glorify Him.

*Recommended Resource: Bible Answers for Almost all Your Questions by Elmer Towns.

"Qik Fix"

Gadgets Gone Bad? 6 Quick Tech Fixes...

From cell phones to laptops, when high-tech goes haywire, it can be a major headache ... so how do you do damage control with malfunctioning gadgets? Good Housekeeping magazine shares quick and easy solutions:

“I dropped my cell phone in the tub!”
Or maybe it splashed into a sink, a puddle, or (gasp!) the toilet — if you act fast, your phone might not call it quits. Remove the battery and SIM card (a portable memory chip in some models), then wipe everything off. (If it fell in a non-water liquid, quickly rinse all parts with water, then wipe.) Use a vacuum to suck out moisture, and let air-dry for a day or two before reassembling. Don’t power up before then, or it could short out. It still may not work, but what do you have to lose — other than a busted phone?

“The DVR didn’t tape my show”
If you’re certain the show was in your queue, it may have been recorded — and deleted. Check the settings: The DVR may be saving only one episode, so the newest one overwrites what’s stored, even if you haven’t watched it. To catch what you missed, try the network’s Web site, a video site like hulu.com (which is free) or iTunes (usually $2 per show).

“A CD is stuck in my computer”
For a PC, poke the end of a paper clip into the small hole on the CD/DVD drive to depress the internal button. Hold it in until the tray pops open. On a Mac, if dragging the disc icon to Trash doesn’t do it, quit all applications, and restart the computer, holding down the mouse while rebooting.

“My iPod stopped responding”
Like a computer, it might need a reboot. First check that the “hold” switch isn’t on. If it’s off but the iPod is still stuck, toggle that switch on and off, then press and hold down both the menu and center buttons for about six to eight seconds, until the Apple logo appears. For other MP3 players, press the reset button (it’s usually recessed, so use the end of a paper clip), or remove and reinsert the batteries.

“My Wi-Fi signal dropped during a download”
Save what you’re working on, and bookmark the download’s Web site. Reboot your modem (the box that brings the Internet into your home), wireless router (the device that transmits Wi-Fi signals on your home network), and computer, in that order. For a continuing problem, move the router to a more central location and away from other electronics (TV, desktop PC) that might interfere with its signal.

“I spilled coffee on my keyboard”
Turn the keyboard upside down and disconnect it. Let dry at least 24 to 48 hours before plugging it back in. (A blow-dryer set on cool can help.) Take a premoistened wipe to the surface.

*For more helpful tips and information, visit Good Housekeeping online.

LOL

What is God's name?...

A blonde got into heaven, and when she arrived at the Golden Gates, she was asked one

question: "What is God's name?"

She replied, "Andy."

"Andy? Why Andy?", she was asked.

She replied, "Oh, you know, the song... 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own..."

Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

A: Snowflakes.

Cartoon of the Day

Faith in God or Faith in Man...?

"Do faith in God and science contradict?"

Science is defined as “the observation, identification, description, experimental investigation, and theoretical explanation of phenomena.” Science is a method that mankind can use to gain a greater understanding of the natural universe. It is a search for knowledge through observation and guesswork. Advances in science demonstrate the reach of human logic and imagination. However, a Christian’s belief in science should never be like our belief in God. A Christian can have faith in God and respect for science, as long as we remember which is perfect and which is not.Our belief in God is a belief of faith. We have faith in His Son for salvation, faith in His Word for instruction, and faith in His Holy Spirit for guidance. Our faith in God should be absolute, since when we put our faith in God, we depend on a perfect, omnipotent, omniscient Creator. Our belief in science should be intellectual and nothing more. We can count on science to do many great things, but we can also count on science to make mistakes. If we put faith in science, we depend on imperfect, sinful, limited, mortal men. Science throughout history has been dead wrong about many things, such as the shape of the earth, powered flight, vaccines, blood transfusions, even reproduction. God is never wrong and has never been proven wrong.Truth is nothing for any Christian to fear, so there is no reason for a Christian to fear or hate good science. Learning more about the way God constructed our universe helps all of mankind appreciate the wonder of creation. Expanding our knowledge helps us to combat disease, ignorance, and misunderstanding. However, there is danger when scientists hold their faith in human logic above faith in our Creator. These persons are no different from anyone devoted to a religion; they have chosen faith in man and will find facts to defend that faith.Still, the most rational scientists, even those who refuse to believe in God, admit to a lack of completeness in our understanding of the universe. They will admit that neither God nor the Bible can be proved or disproved by science, just as many of their favorite theories ultimately cannot be proved or disproved. Science is meant to be a truly neutral discipline, seeking only the truth, not proof of an agenda. And God has always intended us to come to Him through faith, not through logic.Much of science supports the existence and work of God. Psalm 19:1 says, “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.” As modern science discovers more about the universe, we find more evidence of creation. The amazing complexity and replication of DNA, the intricate and interlocking laws of physics, and the absolute harmony of conditions and chemistry here on earth all serve to support the message of the Bible. A Christian should embrace science that seeks the truth, but reject the “priests of science” who put human knowledge above God.

*Recommended Resource: Biblical Creationism by Henry Morris.