LOL

Have Faith My Child...
For the umpteenth time Mrs. Youngston came to her pastor to tell him, "I'm so scared! Joe says he's going to kill me if I continue to come to your church."
"Yes, yes, my child," replied the pastor, more than a little tired of hearing this over and over. "I will continue to pray for you, Mrs. Youngston. Have faith - the Lord will watch over you."
"Oh yes, he has kept me safe thus far, only....."
"Only what, my child?"
"Well, now he says if I keep coming to your church, he's going to kill YOU!"
"Well, now," said the pastor, "Perhaps it's time to check out that little church on the other side of town."

Cartoon of the Day

Featured Christian Celebrity of the Week

Crystal Lewis
Crystal Lewis (Born September 11, 1969 in Corona, California) is an American Gospel vocalist. In 1984, at the age of 15, Lewis auditioned for a children's musical called Hi Tops, written and produced by Ernie and Debbie Retino, creators of Psalty, the Singing Song Book. Lweis' Rise to Fame & Commercial Success began when Beauty For Ashes was released in 1996, the first album from Metro 1 Music to be distributed through a new arrangement with Myrrh Records. Ashes was certified Gold by the Recording Industry Association of America, and the song "People Get Ready...Jesus Is Comin' " was the # 1 song of the year (1996) in Christian Radio. The album also won an ASCAP award for "Beauty For Ashes" as the most played song (1997). The album contained four # 1 radio singles: "People get ready...Jesus is Comin' ", "Beauty of the Cross", "God's been good to me", and "Beauty for Ashes." (Read more)

Featured Bible Character of the Week

John the Baptist
The Gospel of Luke includes an account of John's infancy, introducing him as the son of Zachariah, an old man, and his wife Elizabeth, who was sterile. According to this account the birth of John was foretold by the angel Gabriel to Zachariah, while Zachariah was performing his functions as a priest in the temple of Jerusalem; since Zachariah is described as a priest of the course of Abijah, and his wife, Elizabeth, as one of the daughters of Aaron. The Gospel of Luke states that Jesus was conceived when Elizabeth was about six months pregnant; when Mary came to tell her about her news, Elizabeth's unborn baby 'jumped for joy' in her womb. Zachariah had lost his speech at the behest and prophecy of the angel Gabriel, and it was restored on the occasion of Zachariah naming John. On the basis of Luke's account, the Catholic calendar placed the feast of John the Baptist on June 24, six months before Christmas. All four Gospels record John the Baptist's ministry. They depict him as proclaiming Christ's arrival. In the Synoptics (Mark, Matthew, and Luke), Jesus is baptized. In Matthew and John, John the Baptist recognizes Jesus as the one he had fore told.

All four canonical gospels relate to John's ministry, his preaching and baptism in the River Jordan. Most notably he is the one who recognized Jesus as the Messiah, and on Jesus' request, baptized him. The baptism marked the beginning of Jesus' ministry. The Gospels of Mark, Matthew and (most clearly) Luke relate that Jesus came from Galilee to John and was baptized by him, whereupon the Spirit descended upon him and a voice from Heaven told him he was God's Son. Their lives (e.g., births) are believed to have been similar, although in Christianity, John is thought of as last prophet and Jesus as the Messiah...(Read more)

LOL

Man lives in four forms...

God created the donkey & said to him : " You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years. You will be a donkey. " The donkey answered: " I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is too much. Give me only 20 years. God granted his wish. God created the dog and said to him: "You will be a dog. " You will guard the house of man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 25 years. You will be a dog. " The dog answered:" Sir, to live 25 years is too much, you give me only 10years. God granted his wish. God created the Monkey and said to him: " You will be a monkey. " You will swing from branch tobranch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. You will be a monkey." The monkey answered: " Sir, to live 20 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. Finally God created the man and said to him: " You will be a man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. " You will use your intelligence to become master over all animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years. Man responded: " Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused. God granted his wish. And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, he marries and spend 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are gone, he lives 15 years like a dog, taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house, from one son or daughter to another, doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

Cartoon of the Day

"All My Single Christians...!"

"What does the Bible say about a Christian staying single?"

The question of a Christian staying single and what the Bible says about believers never marrying is often misunderstood. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” Notice that he says some have the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage. Although it seems that nearly everyone marries, it is not necessarily God's will for everyone. Paul, for example, did not have to worry about the extra problems and stresses that come with marriage and/or family. He devoted his entire life to spreading the Word of God. He could not have been such a useful messenger to all of us if he had been married.On the other hand, some people do better as a team, serving God as a couple and a family. Both kinds of people are equally important. It is not a sin to remain single, even for an entire lifetime. The most important things in life are not in finding a mate and having children, but serving God. We should educate ourselves on the Word of God by reading our Bibles and praying, forming that personal relationship with Him that is so necessary for our salvation (John 17:3). If we ask God to reveal Himself to us, He will respond (Matthew 7:7), and if we ask Him to use us to fulfill His good works, He will do that, too (Ephesians 2:10), whether we are single or married.

Recommended Resource: Single to Single by Doug Fagerstrom.This page is also available in: Español, Português

LOL

Who will ask Jonah...?

A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale." Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. "It is physically impossible!" she said. Undaunted, the little girl said, "Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." To this, the teacher said, "What if Jonah went to hell?" "Then you can ask him"

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Cartoon of the Day

Cartoon of the Day

Flirting

"What does the Bible say about flirting?"

The Bible does not specifically talk to us about whether or not flirting is wrong, so what we should do is examine the definition of flirting. According to Merriam-Webster, flirting is "a) to behave amorously without serious intent, or b) to show superficial or casual interest or liking." It is synonymous with the word trifle, which is something of little value. The next thing we should examine is what people are usually trying to accomplish when they flirt. Are they trying to get attention from others, whether it is negative or positive? Are they attempting to show sexual interest or attraction? Do they see it as “innocent fun,” even if they or the other person is involved with someone else, even married?Having casual contact with someone while purposely entertaining sexual undertones can be dangerous for us spiritually. Although most people believe that as long as nothing physical takes place, what goes on in our minds is irrelevant, the Bible tells us otherwise. “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye – even if it is your good eye – causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell” (Matthew 5:28-29).Sin begins in our minds and then moves to our hearts. Matthew 12:35 tells us that “a good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart.” It is a fact that whatever we surround ourselves with, whatever we indulge ourselves in, and whatever we fill our minds with is what we will become. This is why Philippians 4:8 says, “Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”Although flirting is almost always described as “harmless,” it rarely, if ever, actually is. The first thing to consider is what people generally think about those who flirt. A woman who flirts, for example, will develop a reputation as being promiscuous. She will find that other women look at her as a threat and take an instant disliking to her. A man who flirts will be viewed as a womanizer who is not interested in serious relationships. Anyone who flirts may enjoy the attention, but the interest shown to that person is almost exclusively sexual and will probably lack any sense of respect.The Bible tells us that we are to be a good example, showing others the love of Christ through our behavior (Ephesians 5:1-2). It is possible that a man or woman who is being flirted with has been struggling with lustful thoughts themselves. When a person of the opposite sex is hanging on them, winking at them, touching them, or showing off their body to them, it will make the person's struggle all the more difficult. The Bible strongly warns us against tempting others to sin (Matthew 18:7). We should do all we can to bring others into God's Kingdom and never do anything that would cause a person to stumble in his Christian walk (Romans 14:21). First Corinthians 10:31 reminds us, “Whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, you must do all for the glory of God.”

Recommended Resources: The Ten Commandments of Dating by Young & Adams.

LOL

Confessions...
A guy went into the confession box to confess his sins to the Priest.
When he sat down in the box, he said, "Father forgive me for I have sinned"

and the Priest replied, "What is your confession my son?"

to which he replied, "Well Reverend, I stole a stack of hay from my neighbour."

"And how much of that stack of hay did you steal?" asked the Priest.

"Well, I guess I might as well confess to the whole stack, your Reverence," said the man, "Since I'm goin' after the rest of it tonight!"

Cartoon of the Day

NAC Boyband: Where in the World?

Georgetown & B/Ville Youth Programme 09

Please take note that the date for our next Youth activity, the Walk-a-Thon, has been posponed to 25th April and will be from LBI(ECD) to G/town.

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